A little inspiration, A little history

"Mama told me not to waste my life, she said spread your wings, my little butterfly. Don't let what they say, Keep you up at night. And if they give you sh, Then they can walk on by."

This particular lyric struck a chord with me, granted my mother never actually used these exact words, nor did she ever call me her "little butterfly," but the message was always similar. Do what makes you happy, regardless of what other people think.

I've always had an issue with that from the time that I was little, I never fit in with the boys and because I was a boy I didn't fit in with the girls. I was never really good at sports, like everyone else in the midwest I did my stint on a tee-ball team, but as you can expect by the theme of this post so far I was never very good. When it came to activities of the athletic variety I wasn't exactly an all-star.

Things thankfully turned around when it came to middle school, I joined concert band and found something that I was good at.  I continued with concert band all throughout middle school, which moved seamlessly into marching band in high school. I LOVED marching band, I cannot stress that enough, I loved marching band, it gave me confidence, it got me in shape, garnered me a swarm of loyal friends, and took me places I never could have imagined.

My junior year one of my friends encouraged me to audition for the show choir band, which then opened me up the the glorious world of musical theater. The next two years went as well as can be expected as a sexually conflicted teenager surrounded by temptation.

But enough of my childhood and to get to the point. I've always had an issue with self-confidence, whether it came to my musical ability, my social charm (lol), or my body. But recently something clicked in me that made me realize that I just don't care. I think the fact that I've worked retail for going on 8 years now, put off the things I want to do, but more importantly put off my dreams for fear of failure and disappointing those around me. But if you don't fail you don't learn, not that you have to fail to learn mind you but it's a great motivator.

Something about the lyrics of the song posted above made made my brain finally realize that I've waited long enough, and that the people around me, whether they be positive or negative, help me grow as a person and help Aria be the fierce bitch that I need her to be.

To quote the great Rupaul, "What other people think of me is none of my damn business."